I was so young when I did it, I felt like the earth was shaking, my vision was very blurry like the peak of the highest mountain on earth, but before it, my family was with me and we went to a fun-filled park called “Resort World Sentosa”, The sun was blazing hot but it was a place full of joyous people under the scorching sun and the gorgeous park and it's buildings was full of pillars, stalls for souvenirs, food and toys that people were yelling to sell, and it was a child’s dream world and then after looking around the gorgeous place we went inside the amusement park and we used our tickets to enter the huge gate that the main gate was more than 50 meters above ground and the first thing we did when we entered the park was we ate a cookies and cream ice cream and we took some delicious nestle ice tea to drink while walking around the park on a stone chiseled path and we took some pictures aside some favorite character's like Elmo, Betty Boop, Shrek, Frankenstein and others, and then after we ate the ice cold cookies and cream ice cream and drank the tasty and delicious nestle ice tea we walked our path and went for the awesome rides.
And then we rode all the rides in the amusement park, the other’s were no big deal, but there is one ride that I can never forget, because I took a risk of facing my fears and challenged my nightmares for this one and that went somewhere else because this ride gave me the most darkest, most deepest nightmares that haunted me during the time of my childhood and the name of this terrifying ride was “The Mummy” which was already spooky at the mouth of the ride, the entrance, which was also tall and massive, with some realistic looking statues of the Anubis which was corroding which looked real and the Egyptian carvings on the sides of the stones, the Anubis was standing on and the Anubis statue was also carrying a big chunk of stone on top of its head and the main line of the ride was long but also hair-raising, terrifying because it had a sound system around the cave which was releasing noises of people screaming and the sounds of ghosts weeping and the system was also releasing sounds of the wind like “fhooooo” and that was only the entrance.
When I was walking across the graveled path, I was feeling small like a newborn kitten in front of a huge dog that’s about to chew me up, but I was lucky enough that I have a great imagination and thought about everything the opposite and I felt a little better because I have my friends beside me, I felt even better because those are my friends, but the feelings suddenly changed when I was about to ride the roller coaster of death, It was all-around eye opener the cave had wooden scaffolding's in the middle of the cave but the walls was full of Anubis statues and they were holding the cave, but it was the end of the line and I was about to ride the roller coaster and I already saw the first part of the ride and it was complete darkness everywhere, and now the start of the ride is here.
The first part of the ride was all calm, then the suspense was starting to rise like the sun but dashing across the skies and my body began to heat up like a chicken inside a furnace and then my fear began to attack me and I started to imagine that the events were actually real and then I started to scream but not by joy, but by extraordinary horror, and I started to grab on my friend’s arm and then I just started to scream as much as possible just to get what’s inside me out, to release all the tense, because when I was just a kitten, I was afraid of the dark, but I still want to be a hard brick in front of my friends, In order for them not to make me feel even smaller than what I already am, but the ride suddenly stopped intensely, but when I opened the lids of my eyes, I saw the entire cave, full of mummies, encased in sarcophagi, and then suddenly the sarcophagi started to move across, the top part of it opened, and then a mummy jumped out like “sshhhh!!!”, just like a bunny out of its hole and then the ride started again but extremely faster and going back than forward and then the screaming of the walls were louder and the ride even attacked my feelings that there was something inside my skin crawling because of the audio system which was really good.
And then after that the ride was coming to an end after all the torment and extreme “heart-out” feeling the ride was done, and I was feeling more confident than ever but also more than horrified by the moments in the cave because I was still a kitten then but now I know that feeling of “no commitment, no sacrifice is gonna be no victory” feeling came into my head and now I want try all the terrifying ride out there and conquer them and now I feel like a hero and more fearless than ever.

I like how you describe what you felt riding and going to a Amusement park and I like how you used descriptive words like " felt like the earth was shaking, my vision was very blurry like the peak of the highest mountain on earth". I also like how you add onomatopoeia somewhere on your writing.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of what I felt having to ride and go to Amusement park for the first time.
thank you mae rose for your comment.
DeleteHi John I really like your creative writing and I like the way you compare yourself with a new born kitten."I was feeling small like a newborn kitten in front of a huge dog that’s about to chew me up".
ReplyDeleteI remember that day when I was in the Philippines and it was our field trip and also rode the rides just like what you did and I know what you feel.I suggest that you to add more descriptive words so that it can be more fun.
thank you kiah for your comment.
DeleteJohn the way you start up the story really hooks up readers until the end and I like the way how you conquered your fear and maybe next time you could add some short sentence.
ReplyDeletethank you Franz for the comment and the suggestion :)
DeleteHi John, nothing else I can say, I am so impressed !!! I really like the way you express your feelings and make it more interesting and enjoyable to the viewers.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest if you fix some of the punctuation and grammar, but still you did a great job.
thank you EJ for the comment and the suggestion :)
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